i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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