We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
