i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
