never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
