The maid of honor just puked.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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