The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
