i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
