Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
