That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize