he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Blood and glitter go together right?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
