Can Purell be used as lube?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
