Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I looked at my own cervix.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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