I'm so fucking centered right now
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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