Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize