well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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