Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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