It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
