Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
