Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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