So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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