Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
