im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
