you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I won the penis lottery.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
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