So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
