Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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