it was like his penis was on wheels.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
