i just made my gag reflex go away.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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