Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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