some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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