are you still at the devil's house?
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
