apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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