Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You ate ashes out of my bong
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
