i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
