508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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