please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
this boner is exhausting
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She bit a glass in half.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
