Your face is a jimmy john
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize