That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
