Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize