How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
