her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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