I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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