So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
