I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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