Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
