so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
pray to the hookup gods
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
