Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
