Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
