I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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