so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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