I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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