I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
They have beer where we have blood.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The best walk of shames are on the highway
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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