As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I have aggressive nipples.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
