garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The Olympian is in my bed
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
