she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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