Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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