i just sent this text using only my big toe
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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