its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize