So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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