so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
