I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
