Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
