I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
