She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
