Barsexuality is the new black.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
