Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
where does the pee come out of this thing
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize