no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
